It has been hard to tell when docs would let analog TV die. First they were going to pull the plug on Feb 17. But then Congress wanted to keep those machines beeping until June 12. Now the FCC has decided to let a few parts of analog die tonight (a few hundred stations), letting the rest of it to languish until the summer. Gross. So what are the top 5 signs that analog is dead—and for real this time? See below:

  1. Thousands of homeless analog junkies trudge aimlessly through the streets, searching through dumpsters for half-eaten episodes of “American Idol” and “Deal or No Deal.”
  2. Kevin Martin blames analog’s death on the lack of cable a la carte and rising cable rates.
  3. Broadcasters start charging “Bad Decision Consent” fees to anyone who uses a digital antenna to access their favorite shows.
  4. The ability of everyday citizens to solve complicated murder plots dramatically decreases as millions lose access to the “CSI” franchise.
  5. Donald Trump unveils “Trump Tube Tower,” a new luxury skyscraper made entirely of discarded analog TV vacuum tubes.

 

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