Our homes used to be ATM machines. Now they’re medieval torture devices. But on Wed, President Obama unveiled a comprehensive plan to thwart the real-estate implosion. Cable execs may not realize that the housing crisis directly affects the cable industry in myriad ways. Here’s how:

1.    Out-of-work pyramid schemers and predatory lenders take to pitching a new version of MTV’s “Cribs” about life under house arrest.
2.    Male “Big Love” fans reconsider the supposed benefits of polygamy after realizing that one wife means only one house plummeting in value, not three.
3.    Remodified loan + Unemployment + Thousands of cable TV shows running 24/7 = Ratings, baby. Ratings.
4.    Producers of cable’s many house flipping shows create a new one called, “What the $%*@ Were They Thinking?”
5.    People start chasing cable trucks again… to live in them.

The Daily

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With the launch of Peacock officially complete, Mark Lazarus is hoping that the 2021 Olympics will be key to getting the streamer to cruising altitude.

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