As we’re believe that anyone dedicated enough to be in the office today deserves a bit of levity, we engage in the annual CableFAX tradition of presenting industry headlines we’d like to see in the coming year. We Surrender: Broadcasters Give Up Multicast Fight NAB Checks Roget’s Thesaurus and Determines ‘Primary’ Synonymous with ‘Original’ and ‘Maiden’ Puppy Channel Ain’t Dead: Digital Launches to Explode in ’05 Rasenberger Doubles Staff to Meet Demand Class Act: Bristol to Launch ESPN Classic HD ‘Grainy Old Films of Classic Games Look Grainier and Older in HD,’ Bryan Burns Says… Lamb to Hearn: Let’s Read! C-SPAN Chief Challenges Trade Reporter to a Read-Off; First One to Finish ‘War & Peace’ Wins… First Lady: NCTA Names Female Pres/CEO WICT Says PAR Initiative Will Reflect Industry-Wide Gains Shea What? Dolans Initiate Open Door Policy with Trade Press Trade Hacks Rushed to Hospital in Shock; Woodward/Bernstein to Reveal ‘Deep Throat’ What in Blazes? SCTE Holds Summer Confab on Surface of the Sun ‘Hey, Hotel Rates are Cheap Up There This Time of Year,’ SCTE Chief John Clark Says Those Were the Days: VH1 Unveils ‘I Love 10 Minutes Ago’ Net Takes Instant Nostalgia Craze to Its Logical Conclusion Of course, each year it seems we yearn for a version of the same headline in the mass media: "World Peace Erupts, Troops Sent Home; Poverty & Disease Nearly Eradicated" — Happy New Year!