Elect Martin(et)! OK, ya’ll… here’s how the cable industry can co-opt the peculiarly anti-cable (is it something someone at Comcast did or didn’t do?) chairman of the Federal Confusion Commission. Pay attention closely, work together and we can get it done… In North Carolina. Hickory, to be precise. Not too awfully far (well, for North Carolina) from where Kevin Martin(et) calls home. There’s some great land there that just might be available to develop (sort of, pay close attention). The land, at CommScope’s cable extrusion plant, is a nice semi-rural setting near the nice town of Hickory. Which has a lot of cable history (1st cable leveraged/MBO buyout). Here’s what we’ll do: 1) Create a REIT-LLC. 2) "Develop" a planned community. 3) Get a postal ZIP+4. 4) "Build" a few million "condos" (really, 1×1 post office boxes and a photo of a planned unit). 5) Register everyone in the cable business as a local voter. 6) Hold a precinct meeting and nominate Martin for Elizabeth Dole’s Senate seat. 7) Win the primary. 8) Elect him. 9) Have a very nice Bon Voyage Party for him in Hickory. Easy, huh? Random Notes

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